Flagpole of Death, My Last Trip to Ireland

The whole day had been giving me signs; it was like I was living in that movie, Final Destination.

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. There was a bar directly across from my boarding gate so I pulled up a seat and ordered a beer.

I hung around until about a half hour before boarding time. I looked over and thought it was odd that no one else had arrived yet. I went over and looked at the departure screen to see to my horror: Flight Cancelled

Flight cancelled!! How could they do that? I checked in less than an hour ago and everything was still on schedule!

I ran to the nearest desk for help. The flight attendant took my boarding pass and looked it up. She said they could put me on another flight but that it was leaving in 15 minutes and the gate was on the other end of the airport. I don’t think I have ever run that fast, in my life.

If I missed this flight I would miss my connecting flight in Chicago to Ireland! I had been waiting for this trip all year!

I ran to the gate just as they were boarding, “last call” I heard over the speaker. I flung myself on the desk panting. Wait! I am here!

The flight attendant asked for my boarding pass. I searched all of my pockets frantically…

Oh no! The last attendant never gave it back to me! I tried explaining and she wouldn’t let me board. She called the other desk and they didn’t have it either. This is a nightmare!

She agreed to print me a new pass but not before I went back through TSA and let them check me again, I think perhaps my panting, and sweating and erratic behavior put her on alarm. The news that I had to run back to TSA and hope to get back before she closed the gate pissed me off further but I didn’t want a strip search so I ran my ass back and let them dump out my backpack.

I ran back just as that bitch was about to close the door, “Wait for me!” I shouted

Phew! I made it, by the skin of my teeth. Then I see it…they have put me on a tiny passenger plane. I am not afraid of flying but I had never been on one of those, my nerves were on end and this made me feel a little uneasy. I think I cried a little when we hit turbulence.

This plane was not going to Chicago, this plane was taking me to Kentucky…or maybe Kansas City…it is a blur I just remember it started with a “K”. From there I would have to run again as I had only 10 minutes before my boarding time to Chicago.

I had to ask 3 people to direct me to the gate, that airport was confusing as hell. I finally get there and luckily they haven’t started boarding yet, there is a bathroom across from the gate and man did I need it. When I came out I sat down and opened my purse to lotion up my just washed hands and what do I find but my lotion bottle exploded all over everything. Every single thing in my purse was coated with enchanted apple lotion. I ran back into the bathroom dumped everything out and started salvaging what I could.

I heard the boarding call, “Are you kidding me!” I said to myself as I started throwing everything back in the purse with extra napkins to soak up the rest of the gunk. At least I smelled good and it wasn’t a nail polish spill or something like that, silver lining?

I finally arrive in Chicago and get to my gate with an hour to rest and wait and pray that the rest of the trip went smoother.

I had a good rest on the plane and landed safely in Ireland 8 hours later. I felt like all the craziness was finally over and I happily made it to my hotel. They put me in the same room I had the previous year, “Huh, Lucky” I said.

They were experiencing gale force winds that day; I heard on the news later 70mph gusts.

I went to the large glass window in my room that overlooked the streets of Dublin below. The flag on the pole above my window was flapping wildly, large cracks and snaps in the wind. I stood there for a few moments glad I was finally there then felt the pangs of hunger and turned to leave for breakfast.

As soon as my door closed behind me I heard it, a loud crash and breaking glass. I immediately opened the door back up to find that flag pole I had just less than a minute ago been watching, was now on my hotel room floor and broken glass was all over the entire room.

I had nearly been impaled by a flagpole. I had been seconds away from death by flagpole. I was stunned to say the least.

I shook the glass off of my suitcase and pulled it back down the stairs to the reception desk.

How do I say this? I thought

“Yes, how can I help you?” She said

“I am in room 200 and the flagpole that was on your building just crashed through the window and is now in my room”

I kid you not when I say this next part: Without batting an eye lash she looked at her computer and said, “Right, we can put you in the larger room next door at no extra fee”

I was speechless. Maybe she didn’t understand me, should I repeat myself?

I decided that instead of telling her they should pay for my room having nearly just been killed that I would just bite my tongue and go to the new room and sleep it off. I was feeling a little like the universe was trying to tell me that I shouldn’t have made that trip at that point so I didn’t want to tempt fate and ask for another kick in the pants.

The rest of the trip went smoothly and I got home without any hiccups, deciding that when I landed that would be my last trip back there for at least a few years.

I haven’t been back since …







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